The vast majority of visitors to this site will wonder what a reference to those daft adverts could possibly be about. You would have to have been living within the distribution are of the Eastern Daily Press, the main newspaper for the East Anglia Region of England, in the 1970's and 80's to have a clue.
The adverts were the brainchild of Charles Groth, now sadly no longer with us, who was the founder of Bagman of Cantley.
Shocked as he was back then at the cost of even modest display advertising in the aforementioned newspaper, he decided that a couple of mischievous lines in the Miscellaneous column might be fun, and may even bring in an enquiry or two. Little did he know....
So, armed with his battered old Olympia portable, a sheaf of copy paper and a sheet or two of carbon paper (eh? wassat? - Ed) he began tapping out the words as they came to him.
Immediately these gems found their way into print the phone lines at the Eastern Daily Press and Bagman of Cantley (then run from the family home), were assailed by people wanting to know what it was all about. Was it coded messages between spies? Had the asylum noticed that someone was missing by any chance? It was often the topic of conversation over a pint or more, we could tell, because the phone often rang a while after chucking out time and boozy enquiries were made with much giggling heard in the background.
And so it went on. The Bagman became something of a local celebrity, articles were written, radio chat shows invited him along, and being caught getting into or out of one of the company vans by someone wanting to know who penned the adverts was an everyday occurrence.
The adverts stopped a good 30 years ago now, but we still get asked from time to time, by the more mature customer, who the culprit was. Well, now you know....
Anyway, here are a few samples:
Bagman of Cantley doesn't throw apples at lorry drivers
Bagman of Cantley eats up all his greens
Bagman of Cantley never uses daddy's electric razor to shave all the hair off people's basset hounds
Bagman of Cantley wouldn't brush his football boots over Ingrid's Shredded Wheat
Bagman of Cantley doesn't show daddy's magazines to Angela and Lucinda
Bagman of Cantley doesn't wonder why Uncle Raymond and Uncle Harvey live together for cheapness
Bagman of Cantley doesn't tell Lucinda what they do with elastic bands up the dog track
Bagman of Cantley doesn't send Sadie Abernethy round to Uncle Raymond's in her leather overcoat
Bagman of Cantley doesn't listen when Auntie Eunice helps Uncle Clint
Bagman of Cantley doesn't put Auntie Eunice's underwear in the Rural Dean's glove compartment
And even the occasional ode: Bagman of Cantley sells Mother-in-law bags They're really for lampshades but you'll get her mum in, So if the old lady consistently nags You'll find they quite usefully deaden the din